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Who we are  Company Profile
Check them out!  Surveillance Cloud

Be prepared!!  Book a Cloud
Get your own back!  Rent a Cloud
Get your own back!  Adopt a Cloud  
Get your own back- big style!  Plague of Frogs
Cloud with a pinny!  Housework Cloud
The ultimate fashion accessory  Haute Couture Cloud
Dare you!  Sporty Cloud
Hot, hot news!  Stop Press!
Watch out!  Cloud Teaser
Must haves!  Coming Soon
You love us, you hate us.  Plaudits & Dingbats
Problem Page  F.A.Q's.
Share your innermost thoughts.  Message Board
Brighten our day. Write to us.  Contact Us


 

Send us a Message

Please leave us a note to display on our Message Board!

Message Board: www.cloudkissing.com

 

Message Board

Hey with a name like mine I know where all the Stealth Clouds are. They are my very favorite to dance upon. I am so glad I finally know who to thank.
Just wish those airplanes would stop bumping into these clouds.
lynn clouddancer

Dear Clouddancer, 

 It is impossible to express the true magnitude of happiness and excitement that your email has brought to our Clouds.

 Universe wide and beyond, Clouds have been passing on the joyous news that you've been in touch. Clouds have been observed jumping and somersaulting with glee. (Cartwheeling was explicitily banned by the Cloud Federation in the Cloud Year 1 for obvious reasons. Nasty accident that. Best forgotten.) 

You, The Clouddancer, are a strangely mystical (actually we thought mythical as well until now) being - venerated by our Clouds since Cloud One (and she's dead old). Baby Clouds have been told since the 1st Cloud Baby that if they're good little Clouds maybe the Clouddancer will come and dance one of her magical Clouddances upon them. Their frilly little edges would always glow with excitement at the prospect.
The Clouds upon which you danced have asked to express their deep gratitude. 
Cloud No. 3474381934 also says thanks but rather wishes that you had not experimented upon him with your clogdancing routine. He's O.K. Slightly deaf and a low level Cloud as a result.

Thank you again for bringing so much joy to our Clouds.

 Yours cloudfully (and in awe)

Mezula da Fluffit  
P.S. Any chance of an autograph?  

 

Siege Report

Cloud held hostage by armed sadman. 


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Dear Sirs/Madams,

I write respectfully, but with insistence, that you call off a particular cloud under which i have been walking around for some weeks now.

What is most upsetting is that every time i look up at it, it appears to have subtly changed its features, performing the most lewd and horrific grimaces.

I do not know who has booked this cloud to perform against me in such a malicious manner, but i fear it is beginning to affect my mental health.

Please be aware that i have contacted my solicitors (Bartle, Bartle & Bartle) and have issued them with full instructions to pursue a claim for compensation against you.

I trust this matter can be resolved before dawn.

Your ever faithful servant,

Darragh Hewat  www.idlefish.com

After several hours drinking a dark cloud loomed over our two heroic adventurers in the form of a pub bouncer named Mr.C.A.U.Wanker who preceded to evict the non-contactlensacled hero while his good companion followed on. During the aftermath of this abomination to all mankind (and pissheads) said myopic hero was dashed to the pavement sustaining life threatening (bouncers life) injuries to eyebrow ridge and leg. I pray that the above mentioned dark cloud was not hired out by your good selves, as if this was so certain steps involving sawn-off shotguns and the like, will be taken.

The non-contactlensacled one

We will remove all clouds hovering above anyone who has suffered the death of a loved one.
quincy@deathleague.com

Re: Cloudkissing. Are tongues allowed? If so, would lightening follow?
Suzy

You lot are brilliant.  I can't remember last time I enjoyed a website so much.
Gina

I'm at school at the moment. I'm meant to be researching Kenya for geog.
love (the blonde bimbo)
sammy www.blondesontheweb.com

Very interested in the Plaque of Frogs especially laundering money to the Cayman Islands as I have friends there.  My husband has not received his two 'Free Clouds' you promised him - he's the one that roams around the yard with his hands in his pockets and looks important at Richard Williams. 
What about "CWMWL MAWR HYLL" I'm sure you have some Welsh customers.
Delia Williams

Is it true that every cloud has a silver lining?........if so when they retire do they become grey clouds.........and when they are happy what number cloud are they on ...........surely it can't be cloud nine like the rest of us?????? They must be far higher than that........and when they get high where do they go!!
Julie M.

We've noticed there are too many clouds performing acts of gross indecency in plain view of the general public. Night time is meant for these erotic exercises and if they do wish to persist in their exhibitionism then maybe they should start a porncloud.com site.   
Regards Nick & Jon (cloudlusters)

Dept. of  Cloud  Health Welfare and Maintenance
To whom it may concern
It has come to the notice of this department that clouds in your employment do  not appear to have their rights in respect of holidays and time off being honoured (EEC Directive 9,463,821 s(III)(a)(iv))
It would appear that time off from duty in the skies over Northern Europe during the period monitored has been nil.  Indeed it would appear that not only have clouds not been taking time off but many  have been working excessive overtime.
At your earliest convenience, please forward to this Department your company policy re time off duty for such essentials to cloud life as routine maintenance, servicing schedules and records showing distances travelled by clouds per shift.
Please also send examples of duty lists - working hours should not exceed 40 hours per week with weekend breaks and
Bank Holidays being mandatory days off (EEC Directive 9,463,821 s(III)(a)(vii) - Health and Safety of Clouds.

Your reply is eagerly awaited.
Mrs J McCloud
Cloud Welfare Officer

I would like to buy a cloud but you haven't shown a price guide. Is this because they are very very expensive or just because you've got your heads in the clouds.  
No seriously; it's no wonder I haven't heard of your company before, if you're this bad at marketing. Nobody will buy anything unless they can see some real clouds with prices attached (humanely - you are human aren't you?) instead of these animated ones (nice as they are.) Anyway if you could send me that price list, it would be great.
mike.wheeler@eaglecrest-cs.com

Thank you for forwarding the (very) detailed report provided by your Surveillance Cloud. This information confirmed my worst suspicions and I have recently instigated divorce proceedings. Many thanks.

P.S. I know for a fact that she wasn't at the North Pole on the day in question (is that legal with a penguin?) I have credit card bills to prove this, but what the hell.
From,
A (soon to be) Free Man

Dear Mr. Fluffit,
As the major shareholders in N.Ark.com we are left no option but to register a complaint. Our doves, letters and (most recently) e-mails have all gone unanswered. We are, by nature, patient and affable creatures but even we have our limits. We have been perched atop this high tree on this high mountain for far too long. Still no sign of the promised 2nd. lifeboat.
Your earliest reply would be welcomed.
Mr.& Mrs. Dodo.


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Page last updated: 20-08-2002