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Contents

 
Who we are  Company Profile
Check them out!  Surveillance Cloud

Be prepared!!  Book a Cloud
Get your own back!  Rent a Cloud
Get your own back!  Adopt a Cloud   
Get your own back- big style!  Plague of Frogs
Cloud with a pinny!  Housework Cloud
The ultimate fashion accessory  Haute Couture Cloud
Dare you!  Sporty Cloud
Hot, hot news!  Stop Press!
Watch out!  Cloud Teaser
Must haves!  Coming Soon
You love us, you hate us.  Plaudits & Dingbats
Problem Page  F.A.Q's.
Share your innermost thoughts.  Message Board
Brighten our day. Write to us.  Contact Us


Frequently Asked Questions

"I'm sure I read about Cloud Kissing when I was at school many years ago but I can't remember in what lesson"
It was probably in an English lesson. We employed for some time a Mr. William Shakespeare as our copy writer. His most memorable lines were:
Threatening cloudkissing Illion with annoy;
(no, we didn't understand it either)
He went on to dabble in playwriting. 

"My Cloud has gone missing. Help please."
Clouds are free-spirits and get easily bored hence a tendency to roam. Did you give your Cloud a name? Try standing outside and calling it (very loudly). All our clouds are trained to the cloud equivalent  of "coming to heel". Some don't.

"Where can I store my Cloud?"
We suggest tethering your cloud to a high point. We are presently in negotiations with various planning departments in order to obtain permission to erect Cloud Tethering Masts around the U.K., though we must say that we are finding the London Authorities  particularly obstructive to our plans to erect a mast on Nelson's Column.

"Do aircraft cause pain to Clouds?"
The jury is out on this one but the consensus of opinion  is that they are distressing our Clouds. It is no fun having a 747 going straight through your middle - and Concordes have very pointy noses We have been in contact with the various major airlines about this matter since manned flight was invented and to date it has been very difficult to receive any commitment to resolve this problem.  Recently Richard Branson has been more understanding since we pinned a petition to his balloon at 50,000 feet. He's now answering our e-mails. Wonder why?

Siege Report

Cloud held hostage by armed sadman. 


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Page last updated: 20-08-2002