FREE Clouds
Sale Must end Monday



Who we are  Company Profile
Check them out!  Surveillance Cloud

Be prepared!!  Book a Cloud
Get your own back!  Rent a Cloud
Get your own back!  Adopt a Cloud    
Get your own back- big style!  Plague of Frogs
Cloud with a pinny!  Housework Cloud
The ultimate fashion accessory  Haute Couture Cloud
Dare you!  Sporty Cloud
Hot, hot news!  Stop Press!
Watch out!  Cloud Teaser
Must haves!  Coming Soon
You love us, you hate us.  Plaudits & Dingbats
Problem Page  F.A.Q's.
Share your innermost thoughts.  Message Board
Brighten our day. Write to us.  Contact Us


Book a Cloud

After lengthy negotiations with St. Peter we are now able to offer a once-in-your-lifetime opportunity to Book a Cloud.

Once your booking has been taken you may rest assured that the cloud of your choice will be awaiting you whenever (or however) you shuttle off, crash off or fall off your mortal coil.

On arrival at the Reception Area you have only to fill in the obligatory multiple choice questionnaire e.g.

Have you been?

Good             Bad                    Awful
Genocidal Dictator                    Builder 

And upon successfully, we hope, receiving your Certificate of Merit you will be shown to your cloud.

All clouds will be brand new, fully sky tested, fluffy and white. They will be furnished with full instructions on how to use them and on their care (a regular visit to the Automatic Cloud Washing facility is highly recommended).

In the unlikely event of you not receiving a Certificate of Merit and therefore not requiring a cloud, your cloud will be sent for re-cycling. You, of course, know where you will be going. Refund applications will be honoured but, to date, have been far too scorched to be legible.

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Siege Report

Cloud held hostage by armed sadman. 

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Page last updated: 20-08-2002